You know how sometimes you sleep on a limb and when you wake up, it feels like it doesn’t belong to you? I wonder if that happens to your mind too. Like if you are inattentive enough, and you mill about in life without really understanding, even though you’re constantly viewing the world… like if that happens, then you forget yourself.
She thinks about this too. As blood rushes under her skin and bones strain with her weight. Maybe her personality was hiding, like a little pale green nib of a baby fern peeking from a nest of earth. This is what she thinks about as she methodically carries cardboard boxes into a dumpster outside of the castle-like building where she works. Walking through curtains of mist, she smiles to herself as another flattened cardboard container slides into the pitch black mouth of recycling.
It wasn’t always this easy to work. She doesn’t like being productive, although it sounded like a nice concept to her. She just wanted to do things, to do her own thing. It would get done. Rushing made you lose something. Maybe you forget yourself.
The grass quivers at the edges of the parking lot as the padding sound of feet fade away. No more noise to be had.
What is living if you just take energy and use it, over and over again?
It doesn’t seem meaningful unless there is a discovery, a point, a reason,